Seven Eight Play It Straight (Grasshopper Lawns Book 4) Read online

  Brian shouted up from below, ‘Fiona’s ready to be pulled up, so can you get the trapdoor completely open? I don’t want her thumping her head as you pull her up.’

  ‘Do her good,’ Vivian said in a cross undertone to Edge as Donald used the cudgel to wedge the gap more efficiently than the cushion had done.

  Three enter stage through trapdoor

  Brian climbed up quickly, using the loops he’d knotted into the rope, and knelt opposite Donald as William hauled steadily. Fiona, pale but with colour burning in her cheeks, her arm strapped across her chest, was pulled smoothly into view. Brian reached down to guide her up to safety. Her evening dress was decidedly the worse for wear after her adventures, and she plucked at the low neckline shyly with her free hand as he helped her to her feet, then clung to him. He shot a guilty look over her head at Edge, who looked away hastily.

  To her relief the room filled suddenly with four paramedics carrying stretchers and medical backpacks, and a police constable. Fiona was wrapped in a blanket and whisked away, protesting weakly. Brian stepped back as the rescue team moved purposefully forward to the trapdoor. He glanced after Fiona, then back at Edge and started toward her.

  ‘Go,’ she said coolly. ‘Don’t make her go alone, she’s pretty traumatized.’

  Brian shook his head. ‘I have to talk to you, I know Vivian must have seen—I have to explain.’ He looked round restlessly, flinching away from Vivian’s disapproving stare, Donald’s completely blank face and William’s amused expression. ‘There must be somewhere we can talk.’

  She eyed him thoughtfully, and shrugged. ‘Dressing room. Apparently. We can go find it, see if it’s empty.’ She stepped into her abandoned shoes and he stood back for her to lead the way. There was another door on the other side a little further down. She couldn’t suppress a shudder. ‘Do you think it’s safe? I really hate this house.’

  ‘I think so. No red cross on the door, but I’ll go first.’ He opened the door cautiously, then nodded at her over his shoulder and went inside. ‘Makeup and mirrors, and no-one here.’ He turned back to her, looking awkward, but tried to smile as she followed him into the well-lit room. ‘You do look extraordinary in that outfit.’

  ‘I know. Give it a rest, will you? Newsflash: women don’t like being told they’re fat. Okay?’

  ‘You’re not fat.’ He looked surprised. ‘Vivian’s fat. You could stand to lose a few pounds, a stone at the most. To wear an outfit like that, I mean. It is very tight.’

  ‘Vivian is not fat. How dare you!’ Edge took a deep breath, saw his gaze drop as though magnetized to her bosom, and fought her voice back to neutral. ‘Bony little Fiona’s perfect. Got it. So, first, tell me how and why you’re here. All dressed up in a completely illegal high-ranking police uniform.’

  ‘Oh, right. Well, after we talked, I kept trying Kirsty’s phone. It took about half an hour to get through, they’d been to the Hippodrome, then it took forever for him to find cases and precedents and look up rulings. We still didn’t establish the legal absolute, but we were pretty sure we were on the right track. I tried to call you back when I got your message that Fiona wasn’t here, but couldn’t get through. Then Kirsty rang and said she’d found a message from you that you were gate-crashing the party. You didn’t leave a message for me about that.’

  ‘No, I didn’t. Go on.’

  ‘Well, then the Campbell woman rang her, minutes later. Iain did what he could, but got nowhere. He said he shouldn’t launch what might turn out to be a murder enquiry with you right on the premises all ready to be a scapegoat. We decided to come through, bluff our way in, see for ourselves what was happening.’

  ‘Quite a chance for a law-abiding man like you to take, Brian. You must really be keen on Fiona.’

  ‘On you, damnit. I was worried first about you. Then Fiona.’ He looked reproachful and she shook her head impatiently. He looked down at the floor, and his voice dropped. ‘Fiona’s reaction, that was totally unexpected. I was taken by surprise, I should have held her away, calmed her down. This was the last thing in the world that I wanted to happen. Or thought would ever happen. I am—I don’t know what to say.’

  He looked utterly wretched, and she relented, put her hand on top of his and clasped it briefly. ‘Brian, we’re a total mismatch, I can’t believe you haven’t already realized it. You’re the best thing that could ever happen to Fiona, because if ever a woman needed a permanent built-in hero, it’s her. I just hope you’re up to a lifetime of looking after her, hauling her out of scrapes, and letting her do all the talking for both of you.’

  ‘Edge. . .’ He caught her arm and she pulled free hastily.

  ‘No. Seriously. What purpose would it serve? You and Fiona are well matched, better matched than you seem to realize, and you and I aren’t. At least we can part as friends without resentment, and with our dignity intact. Go to the hospital. I’ve got the others here and she’s on her own after a foully frightening experience. She needs you. And don’t tell her I said any of that.’

  He still didn’t move away and she eyed him doubtfully.

  The door pushed open and Donald put his head round it. ‘Oh good, there you are. Put this on, Matilda’s on her way and Horace insisted on coming with her.’

  ‘Eek.’ She turned her back, arms extended, and he enveloped her in the raincoat he was holding. It was overlarge, smelled a little musty, and only reached to mid-thigh, but she clasped it around her gratefully as he turned her round to check from the front.

  ‘Why is she coming? Is she so worried about Rory?’

  ‘No.’ He adjusted the collar, lifting her fake blonde tresses clear, his face sobering. ‘She was in the foyer, waiting, and more polis have arrived. Fiona insisted on stopping as she was being taken to the ambulance, to tell them there were several bodies in the cellar. Matilda thinks Jean might be one of them, and she doesn’t trust Tobias Murdoch to identify her. She thinks he might have been in on the whole thing.’

  The three of them went back to the red-crossed room where one paramedic was peering down the hatch, watching the others at work. Vivian, William and the constable had gone, but the paramedic ignored their arrival and they hung back a little awkwardly. Brian picked up his peaked cap from where he had tossed it on the sideboard earlier.

  ‘Where’s my jacket, Edge?’

  ‘Oh, I put it on the chair.’ She tried to shake off the horror of Matilda’s suspicion and looked around vaguely. ‘This horrible leather thing’s like a private sauna as it is, the jacket on top was too much. There, it’s over there. Brian, you saw them. Do you think Jean could be one of the bodies?’

  He picked up his jacket, turned the sleeves in to conceal the tell-tale rank insignia, and folded it around the hat. ‘There’s one with strands of what definitely looks like a woman’s hair. In fact, there’s close on a dozen corpses down there, in varying states of mummification. It’s pretty bloody horrible. Some of them could easily be twenty years old, although one looks relatively recent. If she—or they—have been putting people down here, they’ve been doing it for a while.’

  Kirsty entered the room as he started talking, relieved when she recognized Edge. Matilda stalked in with the Major, looking determined, in time to hear Brian’s last comments and faltered. Horace grasped her elbow firmly.

  ‘You can do this, old girl. All friends here. Er—except this lady? I don’t believe we’ve met?’ His avid eyes rested for a moment on her legs before he squared his shoulders, gave her a jerky little military half-bow, and turned his attention back to Matilda.

  ‘Now I know I’m officially past it,’ she murmured to Donald, who smiled slightly and shook his head.

  ‘Situations like this bring out the best in an old army man,’ he dropped his own voice. ‘I still wouldn’t trust him in a room alone. Or even without that raincoat, here and now. Ready for an interview with the polis?’

  ‘With Kirsty?’ Edge smiled ruefully at her niece, who gripped her arm briefly and smiled thinly.
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  ‘Not me. Suspended, remember? Some pretty big guns coming in now. Is it true, is Rory down there?’

  ‘On his way up, now, at a guess.’ Donald stepped back out of the way as the activity around the trapdoor suddenly picked up and another paramedic shinned up the rope.

  Kirsty asked Matilda and the Major to move back. She glanced at Brian, slightly surprised that he was standing by himself and not with Edge, and he turned abruptly and left the room.

  Edge didn’t notice. She was watching her niece closely as the two paramedics pulled on the rope and Rory, strapped from head to toe to a rigid stretcher, was hoisted up into the room. The wig had been removed but he still had the sideburns glued into place. Although the effect was peculiar, with his modern hairstyle, nothing could blot out his good looks and she knew Kirsty had been very much in love with him for several years. He opened his eyes, saw her and his face lit up.

  ‘Kirsty! You’re here!’

  For a second she was obviously shaken by the emotion in his face, then smiled back at him.

  ‘Poor Rory, you’ve really been in the wars. You’ll be absolutely fine, though. And congratulations on the Spinner signing. I’m really pleased for you.’

  His strapped-down hand twitched as he tried to reach for hers. ‘They’re taking me to the hospital, will you come?’

  She shook her head, calm and friendly. ‘I’m on duty, I can’t. I’ll call your family, though—and is there anyone else I should call? Are you seeing anyone?’

  He closed his eyes and seemed to slump against the stretcher as he shook his head mutely, then winced and was still. He didn’t open his eyes again as he was returned to the vertical and carried swiftly away, and Kirsty didn’t watch him go. She turned her attention to Matilda, who had stepped forward to glance down through the trapdoor, her face very pale.

  ‘They’re never going to lower Matilda down there?’ Edge was horrified.

  Donald shrugged. ‘I can’t see it, but on the other hand, the crime scene has been so contaminated already. A photographer was being lowered when I came looking for you with the raincoat. He’s mebbe photographing every inch, then they’ll start bringing the bodies up. We’ll be chased out of here any minute, at a guess. At least Brian got clear before awkward questions about his impersonation could be asked.’

  ‘Oh, did he finally go? Good. He says he came here to rescue me, so I’d hate him to get into trouble as a result. Under the circumstances.’

  ‘Do you mind?’ Donald looked sideways at her and she shook her head, surprised. Hadn’t they already discussed this? He smiled, and pulled the sides of her raincoat together. ‘You’ll have to hold it shut, or do up the buttons, Horace isn’t made of steel. So Brian came to rescue you, and Gillie Campbell told me you gate-crashed the party to rescue me. Thank you for that.’

  ‘Gillie? You know her? Anyway, I thought there had to be something wrong. I knew you wouldn’t have left me waiting while you went off with someone else,’ she pointed out reasonably.

  ‘No. Never. You and me—what you said to Clarissa last night—it’s special to me, too.’ He smiled crookedly. His expression, under the bizarre makeup, was hard to read. ‘Gillie said you were mortified but you did it anyway, because you thought I was in trouble. No-one has ever done that for me before.’

  ‘Oh pooh.’ Edge pulled the raincoat tighter. ‘I owe you a rescue, remember? Anyway, all I really set out to do was gate-crash and find William and Vivian so we could work out what was going on. It only turned all Perils-of-Pauline because of that foul woman. Do you think Tobias was involved? What happens to Spinner, and poor Rory’s contract, if he was?’

  Her sudden change of subject made him laugh. ‘The contract was with Spinner; Murdoch was only the CEO. At worst, if he was involved, the company could crash but they’ve got some huge names on board. I think it would survive even that.’

  Kirsty stepped across to join them and dropped her voice. ‘Everyone’s distracted, let’s get you away while we can. You could be stuck here for hours otherwise. I already told Vivian and William to get away with Drew, we know where to find you all for your statements.’

  She escorted them through to the now-empty foyer, where Donald tapped Edge on the shoulder. ‘Can’t take the raincoat. Give it back so I can hang it up again.’

  Edge shrugged out of the raincoat with relief, and got a startled glance from her niece as her full outfit was revealed.

  ‘Wow. Okay, no more Aunt Edge. No respectable aunt would wear something like that.’

  ‘Pretty bad, huh?’ But Edge was laughing. Gillian had been quite right; Fiona had been bitchy, and Brian tactless, but Donald, Vivian, William, Kirsty, the ones who really mattered, had teased, not mocked or looked revolted. Had even admired. She felt invincible as Donald pulled open the front door. There was a large policeman standing squarely in the vestibule, and he turned and stepped sideways, as Kirsty spoke to him.

  The glowing night suddenly went staccato with flashes and there were a couple of wolf-whistles. Donald put a firm hand on Edge’s back, breathed ‘Keep walking, don’t stop!’ and stepped between her and the barrage of flashes as a moving shield, one arm raised defensively.

  ‘Phwoar, Alice, score! Who’s the babe?’ one of the photographers called as they pushed through the thin crowd and hurried the few steps to the close, but Kirsty had raised her voice as though about to make a statement and only two photographers followed them as far as the courtyard. Gillian Campbell, waiting impatiently at the changing room entrance, closed the door firmly against the last flashes as they hurried in. Donald sat instantly at a chair in front of the mirror, removed his wig with relief and slathered a tissue with cold cream, starting on his makeup with quick experienced strokes. Edge perched on the next chair and reached for a tissue but Gillian, already deftly removing the wig pins, stopped her.

  ‘Don’t, Edge, it’s a nice makeup. You’ll need it, there’ll be more media arriving all the time. I’ll get the wig off and do your hair so you look bonny. I’m glad you didnae have to punch Mac’s lights out, any road.’

  Donald lifted one eyebrow at Edge in the mirror, and she flapped a dismissive hand.

  ‘Long story. Gillian, you could have told me you were friends.’

  ‘I couldnae be sure you were telling me the truth, hen, and Mac’s had more than his fair share of stalkers. But turned oot he was just as worried about you as you had been about him, and any friend of Mac’s is a friend of mine. He got me work on every production he was involved in, once I set up for meself.’

  The wig was lifted away and she winced as Gillian’s terrifying hands plunged into her flattened hair, working vigorously over her scalp.

  ‘Gillian, you’re a sadist, I swear. What are you doing to me now?’

  ‘Hen, this is it. Your chance. All the press here. If your agent was here she’d insist you make the most of it, and you’re going to. Or my name’s not Gillian Campbell.’ Edge met her eyes in the mirror for a startled moment as Gillian nodded at her emphatically.

  ‘Your agent?’ Donald, only half the Alice Cooper he had been, paused curiously and she nodded, and started to laugh.

  ‘She told me to glam up and try to get myself noticed a bit more. I just hope she doesn’t think I overdid it!’

  ‘Is that right?’ Donald went back to his face, looking amused. ‘Well, you’re a very obliging client. On balance, I think you can be said to have successfully updated your image.’

  Onderness Police Station

  DI Iain McLuskie was smiling as he opened the door to the interview room, but Kirsty, in civilian clothes, was wary as she sat down, her coffee mug steaming.

  ‘No recording,’ he reassured her and she relaxed slightly.

  ‘Update?’

  ‘Update,’ he agreed. ‘And first and foremost, no repercussions. I’ve put it on record that I lifted the suspension when you called me, so you were legitimately acting as a polis officer. I had to put an official reprimand on your file for allowing two civili
ans to accompany you on official polis business, but I made it clear the circumstances were unusual and therefore I deemed it acceptable. There’s been a fair bit of embarrassment about this whole case, with twelve bodies bobbing to the surface when it turns out some of the missing were definately reported as last seen at the house. No-one’s in a position to point fingers. And you’re back to full duty.’

  She sighed with relief and sat back. ‘Oh Iain, thank you. Are you even able to lift a suspension like that, over the phone? Will you get in trouble?’

  Iain grinned. ‘Of course I’m not, now, but back in the day, when this was my division, yes. I got briefly confused. And I told you, we’re officially moving forward, not looking back. The one copper who stuck to the job was authorised to do so by a senior officer. The fact that the civilians were not in civilian clothes has, unaccountably, not been mentioned.’

  He leaned forward, elbows on the table and his hands clasped. ‘So, you’ll be wanting to know what we learned, eh? You’ve now got access to the records again, but in brief, Moira Murdoch had some, let’s say, unresolved issues. In fact it’s unlikely she’ll be fit to stand trial, because she unravelled pretty dramatically after Tobias and Matilda both identified Jean Murdoch’s body. Threw a tantrum of note, to be blunt, and said it was all his fault for not divorcing Jean and what did he expect. It seems she had that room as a staff apartment when she was his assistant, and nearly went through into the cellar herself one night when she stood on a bit of rotten flooring. Would have saved a lot of lives if she had. Tobias remembers her telling him the floors were potentially dangerous, that she would get her brother in to lay new floors. He was happy to approve the repairs, and didn’t think anything of it when she said her brother had deemed that room inherently unsafe, and that it should be closed off. Not as if the house doesn’t have a good supply of cellars otherwise. He swears he never thought about it again.’