Fifteen Sixteen Maids In The Kitchen: A Grasshopper Lawns whodunit Page 12

  ‘We’ll find her,’ he told Edge and Vivian as he hooked it back into place. ‘The Search & Rescue lot who brought me through are top people, just the men for the job. Pity the other vehicle just left with the deceased, we could have done with the extra manpower but with four of them looking it won’t take long. They’ll chase everyone into the hall as they go.’

  He turned expectantly as the kitchen door opened and Stuart entered, checking mid-stride to glance with interest at the stranger. Vivian introduced them automatically and his eyebrows shot up. ‘Hello! That’s taking murder week a bit far, bringing in a DI?’

  ‘Iain’s the real deal.’ Edge was slightly impatient. ‘Did you see Lorna on your way back from your room?’

  ‘Is that her name? No, but you know women and bathrooms. If that water is boiling, I could murder a coffee. Although with coppers on the premises, I should probably re-phrase that. What’s up?’

  ‘The coffee will have to wait, I’m afraid.’ Iain was crisp. ‘We’re asking everyone to assemble in the main hall.’

  He held the door open in a polite invitation which was unmistakably an order and Vivian and Edge exchanged quick glances before obeying. Stuart, his eyes bright with interest, followed on their heels. Aubrey and Grant were the last to join them: Iain hung back briefly to speak to the officer who had escorted them before going over to William.

  ‘It might be easiest if you could do quick introductions?’

  William nodded. ‘This is Detective Inspector McLuskie.’ He pointed helpfully at each guest in turn. ‘Martha Smith, Diane Bagger, Aubrey Jellicoe, Grant Pearson, Zoe Black, Stuart Butler.’

  ‘Are those your writer names? Or, put it another way, does anyone here use the name Alec Burns?’ Iain watched their faces carefully. ‘Anyone here know an Alec Burns?’

  Stuart glanced to either side as though waiting for other reactions, then half-raised his hand. ‘From Burns Hall?’

  ‘Is he here?’ Iain asked by response and Stuart shook his head, looking puzzled.

  ‘I don’t actually know him, I’ve never met him. I’m not a writer, I’m William’s land agent. The Burns estate is one of my accounts, not that far from here, and Alec Burns is the current laird. It isn’t a big account, I check their books, do their annual figures, that sort of thing. I deal mainly with the estate manager apart from an email or two with Burns. He doesn’t live there, he lets it out.’ He looked at Grant as though to say more, then shut his mouth.

  Grant shrugged. ‘I never met him either, but I do rent Burns Hall. Not as fancy as it sounds, but because it’s so isolated it’s cheap and gives me a UK address. I organized it through Stuart: like he said, he handles it. The farm is let separately, and I can come and go as I like. I’ve suspected Burns uses the place occasionally when I’m not around. Put it this way, a woman came looking for him the last time I was here, and she seemed quite put out that he wasn’t there.’

  ‘How odd, that he has the same name as that carer,’ Edge remarked into the silence when Grant stopped speaking and Stuart sighed and shook his head.

  ‘One and the same. Burns Hall isn’t the size of estate that makes a living in this day and age. Alec worked as a carer until he inherited the place, and as far as I know still does, the rents wouldn’t support him. I was quite surprised Burns & Son kept the account, considering my father was the man who terminated his employment here. When he did inherit he sent me a letter to let the place for anything it could get. News to me that he’s still in the area, though.’ He hesitated, obviously regretting the professional indiscretion, and closed his lips firmly. Iain eyed him thoughtfully.

  ‘Here, are you a real DI? Was that Catt really murdered?’ Martha Smith demanded and her eyes widened when Iain nodded. ‘Well, blow me down! I’m glad I didn’t know, I certainly wouldn’t have come out of my room when Aubrey sounded off like a siren!’ She glared at William indignantly. ‘You deliberately misled us with your questions last night.’

  ‘Actually, Martha, you gave us the idea with thinking the body was a set-up, and yes, I grabbed at it.’ William put every ounce of charm he could muster into his smile and coaxing voice. ‘I am extremely grateful to you. There we were, completely cut off with a murderer on the premises, but at least we know now he wasn’t one of the group.’

  ‘I’m afraid we don’t know that for sure, we’ll need to do some official questioning now.’ Iain glanced round at them all. ‘Missus Smith is quite correct, Mr Robertson shouldn’t have been doing any investigating. However, I do appreciate why he did, under the circumstances, and I’d like a quick look at the records of those interrogations. Missus Oliver, I wonder if you could organize teas or something for the wait? I’d appreciate all the guests staying put.’

  Vivian grimaced wryly at Edge. ‘We’re old hands at this now. Here we go again, folks.’

  There was a slightly uneasy ripple of laughter as the others made resignedly for chairs.

  ***

  William led the way heavily into the drawing room with Iain and picked up his laptop computer. ‘Everything is on this, Kirsty typed notes as we went. I’ve also got the notes of how and where Edge and I recruited each guest. I thought you’d want that. I put it all on a stick for you in case you brought your own laptop? Good. As far as the interrogations go, all we really did was try to get a picture of where everyone was between the briefing, when we were all together, and especially the last ten or so minutes before Kkkitty Catt’s body was found. Snapshot stuff. Kirsty will have told you, Edge actually saw her go into the library. She was glancing down that way pretty often, but she saw no-one else going in or out. There are French doors to the outside which theoretically could have been pushed open, then jiggled from outside to look closed again, but it was bucketing with rain. There’s precious little cover that side, so anyone out there for more than a minute would have been soaked to the skin. When the alarm sounded and everyone gathered, no-one even looked damp, and I was looking at faces pretty carefully.’

  He handed Iain the USB stick. ‘I don’t think he can have been one of the party, no-one normal is that good a liar. There’s a hidden room in the library. I never thought of checking it at the time because everyone I expected to see was there, I could kick myself. He could have let himself out when the hue and cry died down and slipped quietly out into the night. I thought of that when you started talking about Alec Burns. Anyone who had worked here would know about the room.’

  Iain perched on a chair and opened his own laptop as William added helpfully, ‘Kkkitty Catt had been talking to Grant when Martha Smith joined them, bent on mischief. She glanced at her watch, excused herself and left them together. Grant did go to get a jersey and theoretically could have nipped down the old service stairs – they’re next to the library door. Why, though? He was all over her, and no-one goes from open admiration to homicidal rage and then enjoying a murder mystery that quickly. Stuart Butler was in the drawing room. He and Zoe Black were the only smokers, and we’d designated the library the smoking room. They had been in and out a couple of times. They went once together, but Grant said he’d noticed Zoe also went out the front door to smoke under the portico. I asked her about that. She said she likes watching the rain, and the library was too dismal and musty. She also said she didn’t want to risk running into Stuart again. She said he was dismal and musty too.’

  ‘She sounds charming,’ Iain said politely and William’s heavy face lightened briefly.

  ‘Oh aye. She’s an experience. Diane was talking to me the entire time, she’s the only one we could clear beyond question, although Martha Smith joined us while Grant was away, and was with us for at least five minutes. I honestly don’t think Martha had enough time to do anything.’

  Iain nodded, concentrating. ‘Zoe and Stuart? They were both alone at the time.’

  ‘Oh aye, in theory either could have nipped in and out the library from the outside door, but that firstly would have meant it was premeditated, because they’d have had to have keys. I’m
not saying they couldn’t have found keys, but Stuart would have had to have two sets, library and drawing room, and would still have got wet, and Zoe would have been soaked if she’d dashed the whole way round the house. Unless, of course, she really is a vampire. Kirsty’s description.’

  ‘She told me,’ Iain agreed drily. ‘You havenae mentioned Aubrey Jellicoe?’

  ‘Aubrey’s odd.’ William frowned. ‘He was creeping about in the wee hours as well, roused the house apparently. You’ll see in the notes, he turns out to be the real Kkkitty Catt.’

  Iain’s eyebrows went up. ‘Where was he at the time of the murder?’

  ‘He said he was in his room lying down because he had a headache. Like Grant, he could have gone down the service stairs, but Edge saw neither of them. Why did you bring the Granger woman along, and where is she now?’

  Iain hesitated, then lifted his shoulders. ‘She and the deceased were both entangled with the Alec Burns character. Frenemies, they call it nowadays. Rivals, but on speaking terms, it’s complicated. We’ve got the Catt woman’s phone, and she sent Lorna Granger a text to say she’d seen Alec at the house, which ties in with what Missus Granger said to me this morning. As to where she is now – I’m getting seriously worried about that. We have two possible scenarios: Burns is a member of the party under another name, and somehow intercepted her between the bathroom and the kitchen, or he’s secretly hiding in the house and ditto. You’d better show me this hidden room in the library.’

  Donald stuck his head through the door. ‘We might have a lead on Lorna Granger,’ he said wryly. ‘Grant just told me which bathroom he pointed her towards. You’re going to be sued for sure, William, if she triggered another trap.’

  ‘The oubliette?’ William stared at him, thunderstruck. ‘You disabled that!’

  ‘I hid the switch. I don't know how to disable it.’ Donald looked at Iain. ‘I went straight up to look when Grant told me. The wall-mounted plant I put over the switch has been moved slightly. It’s a prank switch which activates a slide in the bathroom floor. It leads out of the house, but since it was built the hydrangeas have run riot. You’ll have to send someone after her, if I’m right.’

  Iain frowned. ‘Show me.’ He spoke briefly into his Airwave, put the laptop down on the desk and followed Donald to the stairs. One of his team was waiting by the opened bathroom door, but Donald caught Iain’s arm as the DI started inside.

  ‘Uh, no. You probably need a volunteer to take a quick slide. It’s a toggle switch. I accidentally toggled it when I checked the plant, and I have no idea whether it is set on or off at the moment. ’

  ‘How dangerous is it?’ Iain craned his neck, but the floor looked utterly solid and unyielding.

  Donald shrugged. ‘The old man had a robust sense of humour, and people weren’t so safety conscious thirty years ago. If it’s working properly, I’m guessing shocking rather than dangerous. However, I have no idea when the mechanism was last serviced.’

  Iain glanced at the young PC, who was practically twitching with eagerness and the stern line of his mouth eased slightly. ‘I won’t ask you to volunteer, Tom.’

  ‘No sir. Permission to use the cludgie, sir?’ He started forward on Iain’s nod, light on his feet and cautious. A large section of the tiled floor dropped down: he grunted in surprise and was gone.

  Iain swore under his breath and Donald, fascinated, leaned forward to stare down the chute, which curved up slightly at the bottom. ‘Quick! The library one was nearly as quick, although a different mechanism. And look at that shape! The old man was a genius.’

  Iain ignored him and moved forward to the top of the slide. ‘Tom? You okay?’

  ‘Aye sir.’ Tom’s voice sounded hollow. ‘Missus Granger is here. She’s dead, sir.’

  Iain bent forward, intent. ‘From the fall?’

  Donald moved quietly forward to stand by Iain. Tom was leaning on the slide so he could tilt his head up to talk to his superior officer. He looked pale. ‘I dinnae ken, sir. I landed on my feet. There’s not much light coming through the shrubbery, but there could be bruises on her throat.’

  Iain leaned further forward. ‘Could you climb back up? I’m not asking you to, but could you?’

  Tom looked doubtful, but put his fingers into the grouting gap between two tiles. His gasp, as the tile flipped out like a step, was audible. Donald sucked in air, impressed, as Tom checked another with the same result.

  ‘Oh aye, sir. Easily, if they would take my weight. I assume they would.’

  ‘Damn. So he could kill her, climb back up, re-set the floor, flip those tiles back into place – do you ken how to re-set the floor?’ Iain rounded on Donald, who shook his head.

  ‘No, but I’m guessing it would be pretty simple. Might even be a time switch. When it was built in, the ruffled guest could have walked out through the hydrangeas as they’d have been far less overgrown back then. That means either a timed re-set, or mebbe toggling the switch outside the door.’

  ‘We dinnae want to leave Tom trapped down there.’ Iain tapped his teeth thoughtfully with his thumbnail.

  ‘I think I could walk out, sir,’ Tom called up. ‘I can see light at the corner of the house. If I kept against the wall I could push my way through.’

  ‘Any sign someone might have done that?’ Iain asked swiftly. ‘Broken stems, anything like that?’

  ‘Difficult to say, sir. I dinnae think so but I wouldnae like to say for sure. I dinnae mind staying even if the floor closes.’

  ‘Good man. I’m calling for backup now. We’ll have you relieved soon.’ He straightened and looked sombrely at Donald. ‘You realize what this means, of course. It’s definately a member of the house-party. No-one hiding away could have risked being caught in the walkway in the middle of the morning fiddling with that toggle switch.’

  ‘Narrows the field,’ Donald offered and Iain nodded.

  A test for sociopaths

  Donald found Edge and Vivian in the kitchen working together on creating buffet serving platters for lunch, and brought them up to date.

  ‘Where’s William? Iain and I left him in the drawing room but I just looked and he isn’t there.’

  ‘I’ll go look in the suite for him.’ Vivian offered, pushing her hair back with the inside of her wrist. ‘I need a quick breather anyway.’

  ‘That’s a good sign,’ Edge remarked slightly wearily as the door sighed shut behind her, not pausing in her buttering of rolls. ‘The friendlier she and Stuart get, the less interested she’s been in William’s whereabouts. Lorna Granger, poor woman, at least achieved that much.’

  ‘How’s that?’ Donald sat opposite her and started cutting more rolls to add to the pile she was working from. ‘Actually, let me guess, he flirted with her?’

  ‘No, not flirted, but he did join the rush to follow her upstairs without a backward glance at Vivian. He, Grant and Aubrey were like the Three Stooges, all trying to get up the stairs at the same time.’ She added fairly, ‘I hadn’t believed him when he said he likes big women, I thought he was buttering Vivian up, but they don’t come much bigger than Lorna. I’m surprised he wasn’t all over Kkkitty Catt. She should have knocked him flying!’

  Donald laughed out loud. ‘She did. He rushed forward to her other side to help her totter over the gravel. She got even more girlish and said it was ever so sweet of him. Vivian did look a little thin-lipped, now that you mention it. Kkkitty Catt was all about grabbing all the attention, and all three stooges – good phrase – were delivering: Grant and Stuart dancing attendance, and Aubrey couldn’t stop staring – well, we ken why, now. She was loving it. Before supper she cornered me and quizzed me very professionally about all three, although I think Grant was her main target. She couldn’t get over the fact that he lived in Tenerife.’

  ‘I wonder why? I mean people do. It would have been interesting to see how Stuart reacted if she had flirted with him as much as she did with Grant. It might have cured Vivian.’

  ‘Mmmph
.’ Donald offered the noise made by the Scot with nothing to add, and put his knife down with finality. ‘That’s about three rolls for each of us. Surely enough? And I’ve had a thought where William might be. When I went into the drawing room to find Iain, they were about to check the hidden room. If he went to check on his own, he could be trapped inside. I want to look at it myself. You okay here if I go quickly look?’

  Vivian re-entered the kitchen, looking peevish, even as Edge nodded. ‘William’s in our suite and he’s writing, if you please. Hunched over his laptop and lost to the world. What a time to suddenly get inspired again! The house crammed with police, dead bodies heaped everywhere, lunch already late, and he flaps his hand at me to go away!’

  ‘Classic William.’ Donald shook his head. ‘Well, tell me what to do. We’ll need to feed the polis too, at a guess. How many did Iain bring?’

  ‘He said four, but they probably won’t want to eat with us.’ Vivian looked flustered. ‘Do I pack them picnics?’

  ‘Leave them the kitchen,’ Edge suggested practically, ‘and we’ll eat in the dining room. If the table stands still long enough!’

  ‘Talking about lunch?’ Stuart came into the kitchen as Edge was speaking. ‘I hope so, anyway, I’m starving. I was coming to see if there was anything I could help with.’ He looked compassionately at Vivian. ‘You must be feeling seriously stressed. I completely believed the Catt murder was a set-up, I feel a bit bad about that now. I wish you’d told me, I might have been able to be more useful. Having police all over the place can’t help, how long will they be hanging around? The killer’s long gone, at a guess.’

  ‘It’s not just Kkkitty,’ Edge said incautiously, and earned a quick frown from Donald, but Stuart was already looking enquiring. ‘Lorna Granger is missing,’ she prevaricated and his eyebrows went up.

  ‘Still?’ He moved to the table where Vivian was deftly laying slices of cold chicken across a serving plate and hovered as though he wanted to lend a hand. ‘That was ages ago!’